.My Life.

It has been some time.
Thinking has been done.
You are on my mind.
Times with you make me smile.
You make me smile.

School is almost over.
I will be an EMT.
I'll save your life.

My life has been crazy.
But worth every bit.
I love my life.

You were in town.
But did not get a hold of me.
It hurt.
But it said a lot.
You never try to keep it there.
It is up to me.
I refuse to be the only one making the connection.
I still love you.

Sorry it has been so long since my last post.
I have had other worries.
You know.
Life.

Crack Kills And I Am Addicted.

We've tried so hard to understand, but we can't.
We held the world out in our hands and you ran away.

It takes some time to let you go and it shows.

Cause all we know is falling, it falls.
Remember how, cause I know that we won't forget at all.

Now we can follow you back home but we won't.
Is this what you had waited for? Just to be alone?

It takes some time to let you go and it shows.

Cause all we know is falling, it falls.
Remember how, cause I know that we won't forget at all.

You never, you never said
This wasn't what you wanted, was it? Was it?

This isn't what you wanted.
This isn't what you wanted.

Cause all we know is falling, it falls.
Remember how, cause I know that we won't forget at all.

Somethings Never Leave.

I am tired of thinking.
Thinking that everything will be ok.
Everytime I turn around.
It is there.
I never expected it to go away.
But never thought it would be this crazy.
I am glad you were there for me.
I am glad you are here for me.

I hate this feeling.
The feeling of being alone.
Knowing I am not.
Does not change anything.

I have said this before.
But I will never stop.
I love you.

The Process Of Growing Up.

There is only so much you can take.
Day after Day.
It gets crazy.
They never stop.
Honestly?

There comes a time where the kid is supposed to fly from their nest.
Most of them do it nicely.
Me?
I am just going to take a shit on the floor before I leave.

As I said before.
The joys of life just keep on giving.

She says one thing.
but does another.

Thanks.

Know Your Abc's!

Life keeps going.
I keep moving.
Faces keep changing.
But the eyes stay the same.

People move on.
Some just really don't.

It is hard to say it.
But it must be done.
Closure is nice.
Maybe later, some fun.

The Thoughts Are Always There

My mind goes crazy. I can't control it.
It travels like crazy.
It goes on road trips.
And it is hard to get it back.
I don't want it to be like this.

Everyday, it seems to build up.
The numb feeling comes and goes.
Gets more stressful as it continues.

I have always wanted you in my life.
The way it ended sucked.
Maybe it will be for the best?

Songs play. I think of you.
your picture is still in my truck.
Should i take it down?
I don't want to. Don't ask why.
My reasonings are confusing.
I am sorry. I do care.

I want to scream, run, laugh, cry.
It is all a blur.
Life. It goes by too fast.

They do not understand.
They force me to go.
I don't listen. As always.
They want me to be who I am not.
Who I can not be.
Who I don't want to be.

I want to leave in hopes it will all get better. Soon.
It seems to run away from my problems.
It solves them for the time being.

I would like to say I am done.
But the truth of the matter is...
It has just begun.

A little piece of me died today.

I wake up.
Turn on my tv.
MTV is on.
Chris Brown "Deuces"
Nice song to wake up to?
I text her.
Ask if she on her way.
My heart stars to pound.
I shake a little.
The dogs go crazy.
I know some one is here.
I know it is her.
She walks in.
It hurts to look her in the eye.
What happened next will kill a little part of me forever.
She said I don't care.
Lies.
I will always care.
Did i want this to happen?
Fuck NO!
It hurt.
A lot more than i thought.
You will always be on my mind.
Always on my heart.
I never lied when i said I loved you.
I really am sorry........