Emergancy. Medical. Technician.

This week is the end.
It doesn't seem like ithas been 4 months.
I am really excited to see where life is taking me next.
This past week has been really stressful.
Yet one of the best.
I love the way life is working out.

A. Little. Into. My. Thoughts.

I am starting to rethink everything.
You lie to much.
I am tired of the way things are.
We need to fix this ASAP.
I miss you.
I honestly don't care anymore.
It is what it is.
You used to be my all.
My life is awesome. But it has it's moments. I want you in them. For most people, life can be a breeze. I feel as though mine will make me so much stronger than 80% of others. The struggles. It has all been worth every bit. I will become something so much better than you. I still love you. Just saying. I am tired. Tired of being judged for who I am and who I want to be. You have always put me down. In every way imagined. It is my turn to shine now. Are you ready for what I have to offer?

idon'tthinksoo.

It. Takes. Two. To. Tango.

I creep on your page.
I read your updates.
It hurts inside.
To see that you hurt.
I wish I could help.
Say something incouraging.
But I know it wont matter.
He will get upset.
I tried to be there.
You failed on your half.
I know it is rough.
But it takes two to make a friendship last.
And I am done trying.
Trying to be the only one making it work.
I guess it is what it is.

Figure. Me. Out.

I am tired of being judged.
Take me for what I am.
Or leave me.

I wont change for you.
Not now, not never.

I love you.
But that is not a deal breaker for me.

I have said this before.
I am me.
If that is not good enough for you.
Then I am truely sorry.

You will be missing out on something great.

The grass is not always greener on  the other side.
So for once.
Stay on this side?
With me?

Once. Upon. A. Time.

I nerver ment for me to upset you.
My intentions were good.
They are good.
I am living life.
You will always be apart of my ride.
You will be in the passenger seat the intire time.
You are the reason I am who I am.

We are unbeatable.
We are as one.
We are like no others.
People are jealous of us.
They wish they could be just like us.

Everything I do, I hope for your approval.
I try to make you happy.
I fail 23/7.
My thoughts are filled with you.

I love you.

.My Life.

It has been some time.
Thinking has been done.
You are on my mind.
Times with you make me smile.
You make me smile.

School is almost over.
I will be an EMT.
I'll save your life.

My life has been crazy.
But worth every bit.
I love my life.

You were in town.
But did not get a hold of me.
It hurt.
But it said a lot.
You never try to keep it there.
It is up to me.
I refuse to be the only one making the connection.
I still love you.

Sorry it has been so long since my last post.
I have had other worries.
You know.
Life.

Crack Kills And I Am Addicted.

We've tried so hard to understand, but we can't.
We held the world out in our hands and you ran away.

It takes some time to let you go and it shows.

Cause all we know is falling, it falls.
Remember how, cause I know that we won't forget at all.

Now we can follow you back home but we won't.
Is this what you had waited for? Just to be alone?

It takes some time to let you go and it shows.

Cause all we know is falling, it falls.
Remember how, cause I know that we won't forget at all.

You never, you never said
This wasn't what you wanted, was it? Was it?

This isn't what you wanted.
This isn't what you wanted.

Cause all we know is falling, it falls.
Remember how, cause I know that we won't forget at all.

Somethings Never Leave.

I am tired of thinking.
Thinking that everything will be ok.
Everytime I turn around.
It is there.
I never expected it to go away.
But never thought it would be this crazy.
I am glad you were there for me.
I am glad you are here for me.

I hate this feeling.
The feeling of being alone.
Knowing I am not.
Does not change anything.

I have said this before.
But I will never stop.
I love you.

The Process Of Growing Up.

There is only so much you can take.
Day after Day.
It gets crazy.
They never stop.
Honestly?

There comes a time where the kid is supposed to fly from their nest.
Most of them do it nicely.
Me?
I am just going to take a shit on the floor before I leave.

As I said before.
The joys of life just keep on giving.

She says one thing.
but does another.

Thanks.

Know Your Abc's!

Life keeps going.
I keep moving.
Faces keep changing.
But the eyes stay the same.

People move on.
Some just really don't.

It is hard to say it.
But it must be done.
Closure is nice.
Maybe later, some fun.

The Thoughts Are Always There

My mind goes crazy. I can't control it.
It travels like crazy.
It goes on road trips.
And it is hard to get it back.
I don't want it to be like this.

Everyday, it seems to build up.
The numb feeling comes and goes.
Gets more stressful as it continues.

I have always wanted you in my life.
The way it ended sucked.
Maybe it will be for the best?

Songs play. I think of you.
your picture is still in my truck.
Should i take it down?
I don't want to. Don't ask why.
My reasonings are confusing.
I am sorry. I do care.

I want to scream, run, laugh, cry.
It is all a blur.
Life. It goes by too fast.

They do not understand.
They force me to go.
I don't listen. As always.
They want me to be who I am not.
Who I can not be.
Who I don't want to be.

I want to leave in hopes it will all get better. Soon.
It seems to run away from my problems.
It solves them for the time being.

I would like to say I am done.
But the truth of the matter is...
It has just begun.

A little piece of me died today.

I wake up.
Turn on my tv.
MTV is on.
Chris Brown "Deuces"
Nice song to wake up to?
I text her.
Ask if she on her way.
My heart stars to pound.
I shake a little.
The dogs go crazy.
I know some one is here.
I know it is her.
She walks in.
It hurts to look her in the eye.
What happened next will kill a little part of me forever.
She said I don't care.
Lies.
I will always care.
Did i want this to happen?
Fuck NO!
It hurt.
A lot more than i thought.
You will always be on my mind.
Always on my heart.
I never lied when i said I loved you.
I really am sorry........

What Happens Next?

I miss the new.
I want it back.
But yet I don't.
I'm ready for change.
I'm ready for life.
What it has to offer.
It was nice.
While it lasted.
Things got old.

What if I am?
I told you I'm curious.
How do i find out?
It's probably nothing, right?

I talked to that person.
We used to know,
It felt nice.
To say hello.

This may not make sense.
It does to me.
So you tell me.
What happens next?
Who the hell knows.
Lets wait and see.

The sky is our limit and we are half way there.

I am just a young "adult".
Learning how to adapt.
Things change.
The oold leave and the new come.
I miss it.
I miss you.

She is always by my side.
Always has been.
The best condiment selection.
That would be us.

School is different.
What am I doing?
I should know better.
Or should I?
I am living life.
Durrin me!


I love you.
You should know that. 
The future is going to be great.

"She dont believe in shooting stars."
I think i can change that.

And Then There Was One?

So much to say. So much to listen to. Life goes on.
I guess I will be ok.
Who are you to judge me?
I will let it out sooner or later.
I missed you.
Now it is just there.
I am sorry if I cause you the stress.
I dont know what i am getting at.
tonight sucked.,
this week sucked.
when will my turn come?

I Love Ketchup and Mustard

I wish it was that easy.
Things Just keep coming up.
It will stop soon, I guess.
Wish me luck?

Who really knows.

I am sorry.

-G

As they come and go, You will remain.

My thoughts travel.
You are in them.
So many things come up.
They are all over the place.
Good...
Bad...
All of the emotions.
As I sit and try to consentrate.
You are on my mind.
You wont leave.
I do not want you to.
But at the same time,
I do.
My feelings will always remain the same.
You are the best.
I guess we will leave it at that.
One more time....

I love you.

And life seems to keep going.

No matter what i do,
No matter what i say,
You seem to disagree with me,
As if i am not telling the truth,
If only you would trust me.

You say to stay,
but why?
the joys of life,
just keep on giving.

Just One Secret.

I wish I could tell the world my lies.
Open up, let them know.
Then I would not have such a suprise.
I would have nothing to hide.

I just want to start over.
A brand new start.
Let them know.
It is from the heart.

So little know.
But the number is growing.
It is on my mind daily.
Like a firefly is glowing.

I know this may seem lame.
But I just want it said.
I want you to know.
The way of my game.

I trust you to do your part.
Be with me through it all.
Right from the start.

So far you have proven to me that you can.
We have our lives ahead of us.
Let us live life them like we sould.

Here We Are Yet Again.

It never stops.
It just gets worse.

I dont knwo what to do.
I wish it would just end.

Maybe it will.
I hope.

It makes me wonder.

Guess I just have to adapt.....
Thanks yet again.

.Becoming Who I Am Today.

 I am going to be me. No matter what.
I miss you more then anyone realises.
You made one of the biggest impacts on my life.

I have changed a lot since then.
I wish you could have been with me to go through them together.

There is a lot about me that no one will ever know.
But you know all.
You wont ever judge me.

I love you.
I miss how things were.

I know i have told you this a lot in the past.
But like I said.
It is on my mind more then you realise.

It might be tough to be yourself at times.
You might be going through a lot.
Fight it.
Remember that I am here.

You were there for me.
Why wasn't I there for you?

One day things will work out.
I am never leaving.

Thanks you for helping me become ME!
You had the biggest influence.
There is no doubt.

You are always on my mind.
And always will be.
I love you.

time is my enemy.

it is never going to change.
the more i stay,
the more it fails.
my plan is flawed.
why cant it be my way?
maybe one day.
she will realize.
and stop.

school is going great.
one week down. ha
 tired as hell.

You might know her?!

She is pretty amazing.
The best thing that happened to me.
Most amazing being.
Filled with joy.
Fun times.
Nothing can be held from this girl.
People are jealous of us.
Never ending memories.
Lifetime of happiness.
I love her.